East v West: Enjoying Cultural Differences in China

CHI takes a look at the cultural differences in China, from manners and domestic helpers to karaoke and mahjong.

The best kind of travel is the kind that teaches something new. Whether visiting China as a tourist, a backpacker or a long term expat, here are just a few cultural differences that may confuse or surprise - until you learn to love them.

Leave Your Shoes at the Door, Please.

As a traveler or expat, it’s normal to acquire some of your host country’s customs and habits, and we may even bring a few of them home with us upon repatriation.Westerners might learn to cook ma po tofu, develop a deeper appreciation for the concept of face, or haggle without embarrassment. But of all the customs that quietly traverse the globe, perhaps none ingrains itself more in the psyche of Westerners than the practice of taking shoes off when entering a house.

At first it will seem strange, but after just a little time experiencing the shoes-off-in-the-house lifestyle we quickly learn to appreciate the custom - and to stop wearing knee high lace up boots. In fact, many Westerners living and traveling in China gradually find themselves appalled by the very notion that they ever thought it acceptable to track dirt, grime and mud all around the home.

Why doesn’t the West have this same no-shoes policy? Whatever the reason, it’s a custom that’s unlikely to be adapted anytime soon. In most Western households (especially the United States) taking shoes off at the door is not standard procedure, and the idea of asking Uncle Bob to relinquish his 15-year-old sneakers could be seen as odd, and even rude. So if you’re a Westerner looking to bring a little bit of Chinese shoes-off culture back home, good luck with that trailblazing.

Domestic Goddess or Domestic Helper?

For many Westerners visiting China for an extended period, the notion of employing paid domestic help is odd. You’re neither a rock star nor a mega-wealthy high flyer - why have a maid? In fact, the idea of hiring a nanny in the West may even be considered politically incorrect.

However, an ayi, or helper, plays a vital role in the lives of many families in China, and is a very normal part of the domestic landscape all across Asia. In China and other nearby countries, an ayi is essential if both mother and father are employed outside the house.

This custom can take a little getting used to, especially for those used to doing all household chores themselves. Still, during a stay in China, it’s worth investigating the availability and cost of an ayi, especially if traveling with children.

I Will Survive – Karaoke, But Not As You Know It

Karaoke may be a global phenomenon but there are marked differences in the way Westerners and Chinese approach it. For most Westerners, karaoke is something that’s done occasionally, perhaps for a birthday or bachelorette party, and it’s not meant to be taken seriously. The singing occurs in public, on stage and usually at a bar. This karaoke crowd is all about booze and public humiliation - apart from the few stoic regulars giving earnest song renditions better suited to auditions for The X Factor. Mostly, though, karaoke in the West is an evening of wobbling notes delivered in an incoherent, shouty and alcohol fueled blur, ideally with two or three friends on backup. By the end of the evening, no one will care or remember who was any good, much less what was sung because, for Westerners, it’s all about cutting loose and having a raucous time.

In contrast, a Chinese karaoke box (or KTV) is taken much more seriously. For starters, the concept of subjecting oneself to a public cringefest is total anathema to Chinese and probably due, in no small part, to the concept of ‘losing face.’ For this reason, most karaoke sessions in China take place in private rooms with a select group of friends only. Aside from KTV venues, karaoke rooms can be found in restaurants or gaming arcades. For Chinese, it’s a fun, group activity amongst friends, where the participants need no prompting, nor a keg of beer, in order to get up and sing.

The Western traveler or expat in China will soon learn that karaoke is a largely sober affair with tea and soft drinks. If alcohol is involved, it tends to be a few toasts of bai jiu, a spirit that could strip paint at a 100 yards, or perhaps some red wine. Whisky and tea is another tipple, but a karaoke boozefest is the exception rather than the rule. The song choice is naturally heavy on Chinese language songs, but many establishments also offer a list of Western classics spanning various decades - think Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys. Another of the noticeable differences between Western and Chinese karaoke is the interchangeable tempo; slower ballads being as popular as uptempo numbers. Oh, and it’s totally acceptable to admit to practicing beforehand.

It’s Only a Game – Mahjong Versus Bridge

Of all the quintessential images associated with China, and perhaps the one that endures the most in the minds of Westerners, is of a convivial group of mahjong players, advancing in years, but each possessing the keen gaze of a seasoned poker player, amiably shooting the evening breeze over tea in the park.

It may sound like a cliché but this phenomenally popular pastime is still enjoyed everywhere: in homes, parlors and particularly in public parks, all across the country. Mahjong’s ancient origins are said to be traced back to Confucius’s time. Nowadays, the game is considered a little old fashioned by the younger generation, but the click clack of the little bamboo tiles is as inextricably linked to the China’s culture and consciousness as Uncle Sam is to Americans.

Make no mistake: Mahjong is a serious business, and as the country’s favorite gambling game it requires a highly practiced degree of strategy, cunning, and no small amount of luck to get to the level of an average player in China. Practitioners do play for fun, but it’s also very common to enjoy a healthy bet - as in the game of poker, some players may enjoy that betting a bit too much.

Westerners trying to wrap their heads around Mahjong may find it useful to compare the game to bridge. Sometimes described as a more technical and elegant form of rummy, bridge is considered by some to be the ultimate card game, requiring smarts and skill to win as many tricks as possible and outplay opponents. It comes as no surprise, perhaps, that bridge attracts top Western minds such as Bill Gates and Warren Buffet.

Both bridge and mahjong usually require four players (although Bridge can have more), but the main difference between the two games is that bridge is usually played as a partnership with the opposite player, whereas mahjong is very much an individual’s game.

The differences between mahjong and bridge can even provide an interesting window into the character traits of the East and West; an idea summed up by a 2003 article in the China Daily. This article quotes renowned Chinese writer Lin Yutang, and discusses China’s crowd mentality; an attitude that creates a kind of impassive voyeurism in certain situations. Lin puts this down to China being “a nation of individualists,” historically more attuned to the needs of oneself and one’s immediate family rather than the external majority.

This idea certainly makes sense, considering that China is a country of some 1.3 billion people. For Lin, this impassive individualism  is analogous to their gaming preferences: "The Chinese like poker, and do not like bridge," he wrote in his book, "My Country, My People". "They have always played mahjong, which is nearer to poker than to bridge. In this philosophy of mahjong may be seen the essence of Chinese individualism."

To the uninitiated, mahjong may seem slow, complicated or a little dull, but for devotees it’s anything but. Mahjong players praise the game for its ability to sharpen the mind and hone mental skills over time. Newcomers to China can no doubt learn to love the game as well, but as with becoming accustomed to anything in a new culture, humility and persistence are key. As summed up in the words of Confucius: “Patience can't be acquired overnight. It is just like building up a muscle. Every day you need to work on it.”

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