The Traditional Chinese Family, Then and Now

There are a number of old traditions that are still present in families all over China today. CHI looks at these traditions and how they have stayed within Chinese families through the decades.

The structures of the traditional and modern Chinese families may seem light years apart these days. It is true that many things have changed over the years, arguably for both the better and for the worse. However, the values that keep families close and loyal to one another have remained throughout the years.

China History

Traditional Chinese families were very close, in proximity and in a relationship sense. It was not uncommon for three or four generations to live under one roof. Each member of the family had a role he or she was expected to fulfil until his or her situation changed, such as through marriage. Some roles, however, had attributes that stayed with that person for the duration of one’s life.

Males were the more valued gender in traditional Chinese society because they were the ones who inherited land, money and power in the family. Some of these traditional roles may have come from Confucianism, which placed value on hierarchy and rules to establish and maintain harmony, stability, and piety. In addition to controlling land and money, the oldest male, who was head of the household, had all decision-making power in the family. This included supporting the children until they married and having sole power to decide who the children would marry. With all of this power, some wealthy men in the past even kept multiple wives. Men also had a great deal of responsibility. The male head of the household was responsible for increasing the household’s wealth and status; very important for improving the reputation of the family, and better providing for every family member.

Women’s roles in traditional Chinese families were a stark contrast to their male counterparts. As lower status family members, women had no say in who the children married. Indeed, they had no say in most matters, unless speaking through another male family member. Girls stayed with their families until they were wed, most likely via a marriage arranged by her father. Once married, a woman left her family and became the “property” of her husband and his family. Then, she was under great pressure to produce a son. And once she had children, the woman was expected to stay home and care for them, while her husband earned a living.

Children were not immune to the pressures of tradition. Sons, especially the first born, had expectations heaped upon them. After all, they were the ones who would inherit the family’s money, land, and  decision-making power upon becoming the eldest living male. Both male and female children were expected to obey all of their father’s rules and decisions, without putting up an argument. This included marriages in which the children might not even meet their future spouse until the wedding day.

Big Changes

Naturally, things have changed since the days of this very traditional structure. One of the biggest influences on families was the 1979 one child policy, which restricted the number of births per family to help with overcrowding and population growth. The idea was that fewer children would benefit economic development by putting less stress on limited resources. This law had many lasting effects on family traditions. People began to marry later and, of course, have fewer children. This put even more extreme pressure on women to have sons, and unfortunately, many baby girls were killed at birth or given up because they could not have inherited or carried on the family name. Suicides in women began to increase as well, due to pressure from their families and society.

Modern China

Chinese families have incorporated these traditions and changes into their lives, and grown into what we know as the modern Chinese family. Not surprisingly, families today are smaller and more nuclear; it is no longer common to see four generations living in a home together. And instead of an all-powerful, male head-of-household, families work together to contribute to group decisions. They’re also more likely to share household chores and duties. And though it’s less likely that everyone lives in the same home, families still maintain close relationships with their relatives.

China Today

Today, fathers are not the boss of the family as in the past. a father is more likely to treat his sons and daughters equally, and is less likely to have complete control over his adult children. However, parents still generally support their children’s education and lifestyles, financially speaking, until marriage.

Women have come a long way from the old Chinese family traditions. Though still under pressure to have sons, there is a much better understanding of the genders’ equality. Many more women have careers now, though they are still likely to rely on a husband or father financially at some point in their lives.

The way the younger generation lives has changed dramatically. An interesting side effect of the one child policy is that as many of these children grow up without siblings, psychologists say that they may be growing into more selfish adults because they never had to learn to share or compromise while growing up. As they grow into adulthood, their supposed individualistic tendencies may continue to change and shape society to come. Additionally, many young men marry later in life because of the pressure to save up money for a lavish wedding. Avoiding embarrassment and shame, and publicly displaying wealth and status, are still very important though old-fashioned traditions. Nowadays, arranged marriages are rare, and unmarried children may move out on their own or with a significant other.

It is hard to predict the future of Chinese society. The family structure will continue to change and grow, and certainly will not disappear anytime soon. Family values are very important to the Chinese, and that is not changing anytime soon.