Online Dating in China

We take a look at the perks and the pitfalls of one of the fastest growing trends in China: online dating.

Online dating has taken the world by storm since the dawn of the new millenium. Year after year, more people are finding their significant others through the world wide web. The internet offers a much wider selection of suitable partners than you would find in your local area or through your social circles, so it is understandable why the trend for online dating continues to grow.

In China there are currently approximately 180 million single people. The world’s biggest country previously viewed marriage very traditionally, with matchmaking and arranged marriages being common place. However, with an influx of people from the country into the cities of China, and with a distinct surplus in men vs. the number of women of marriage age, many are taking to online dating sites to cut through the competition and find the most suitable marriage partner. The 3 biggest online dating sites in China boast of over 140 million members, which clearly demonstrates this increased interest in online dating.

But why there has been an increase in popularity of online dating sites? How will this affect tradition in China? What are the perks and pitfalls of using online dating, and what sites are commonly used in China? If you’re considering taking the plunge into the world of internet dating, look no further than here.

The Increase In Popularity

There are several reasons why online dating has increased in popularity in China. Rapid urbanization has meant many people that lived in rural areas and were traditionally arranged to marry someone through family are now on their own in a city, looking for their own partners. With matchmaking methods no longer present, these people are turning to new ways to meet a partner, and the internet is both an easy source of information, and a vast one with millions of suitors to choose from. This gives you as a suitor the best possibility of finding the right match.

Many workers in China lead busy, stressful lives with little down time to go dating and meet people. Trying to find a partner without the internet is a problem exacerbated by having to wade through dates with people that simply do not meet the criteria you hold for your ideal partner. Instead, through online dating websites, you can set criteria simply and be given a list of potential suitors that are more readily likely to be a good match for you. Furthermore, you can engage in conversation with them through messages online before meeting them to know if there is any chemistry without taking too much time from your busy life and work schedules. As the taboo of online dating is eradicated, and the traditional views of marriage through matchmakers and parental arrangements is realised to be ineffective, it is understandable that the trend in using the internet to find a partner is increasing.

Furthermore, an increasing number of single people may be turning to online dating in China as a last resort because they are getting to an age where, traditionally in China, you should be married or ostracised for being single. Men of 30 and over, and women of 27 and above who are single are referred to as ‘leftovers’, or for women, ‘old aunts’ or ‘unwanted girls’ (Sheng Nu). There is enormous societal and familial pressure to find a partner in China. The internet just makes the process easier and hopefully more effective at appropriately partnering you with someone. The pressure to get married in China has led to a skyrocketing divorce rate, as people have rushed into union with unsuitable partners. In 2010 divorce rates reached a new peak in China with over 2 million couples registering for divorce, a number that continues to rise annually.

Finally, the results of China’s one-child policy mean there is increased competition amongst men to find a partner amongst the short supply of women available. This has affected the online dating market as shall be seen below.

The One Child Policy, and its Impact on Dating in China

In 1979 the Communist Government in China adopted a one child policy, through which families were only permitted to have one child. This was an attempt to control China’s burgeoning population, with incentives offered to those parents that complied with the policy, and punishment for those that did not.

The one child policy, whilst helping to control population, had an adverse effect as it led to a huge increase in the abortion rates in China. Families, upon finding out their child would be female, would often choose to abort the foetus, or alternatively carry the child to term and then abandon them or have them killed to avoid the government finding out. This is because the parents wanted their one child to be a male. Males are traditionally considered preferable in China as they are charged with looking after their parents in their later life. Men are also considered more financially stable by older generations, as they are the workers, and so there was a great demand for male babies. This has led to some major problems in China.

As a result of the one child policy, not all Chinese men will find a wife; something that will remain true for the next decade at least. Currently in China there are 120 men for every 100 women. It is estimated that by 2020 there will be 24 million more men than women of a marriageable age. 24 million surplus people looking for a partner creates some important and fierce competition, which could account for the increased number of people pursuing online dating.

The pickings are slim for Chinese men, and so they are using the internet to help find that special someone, and to advertise themselves as broadly as possible. With 15-20% of Chinese men soon to be single, finding a partner is more important than ever before, and so people are using any tool possible to accomplish this.

The Online Dating World

Finding a partner is increasingly easy with the boom of online dating sites. There are 3 main sites in China that draw in millions of users looking for their significant other. These users can choose from the millions of prospects according to a diverse range of criteria, and many choose according to very strict personal criteria based on financial rather than personal compatibility. 

The three biggest dating sites in China are Jiayuan.com, Zhenai.com, and Baihe.com with a purported 68 million users, 40 million users, and 39 million users respectively. Jiayuan earns 44% of the online dating sector’s revenue and has posted huge annual growth rates of roughly 40%, as have the other sites. The number of users in China are astronomical when compared with the USA’s most successful dating site match.com which has 15 million users.

The online dating sector has become a highly lucrative business, demonstrating how popular these sites have become for singles in China. Each site offers its own perks for paid members including arranging blind dating events, providing matchmaking services, giving advice on suitable partners, and arranging chats and dates with other users. By 2014 it is estimated that the online dating market will be worth 2.02 billion yuan. While this is already a staggering figure, it could have been even higher but for China’s underdeveloped e-commerce section making online payments unreliable or impossible for many.

Users in China can judge prospective partners on a number of categories that must be filled in in order to set up an account. These categories include the obvious age, height, occupation, and education level, but also include other valued traits such as where you are permitted residency in China, and whether you own a car and a deed to an apartment. Increasingly in China, mates are selected based on being in a similar or more prosperous financial position rather than on spiritual and emotional compatibility (which probably factor in as well, just with less importance.) This may seem odd for those reading this who are Western, and place other factors before societal gains when finding a mate, but it fits with the traditional model in China from the days of arranged marriages. It used to be that things such as a potential partner’s salary and assets were discussed amongst parents to see if their children would be a good match, after which a wedding would be arranged. In fact this practice is still occurring, just to a lesser extent due to increased urbanization and use of online dating sites.

Traditional Methods of Finding a Partner

Before the recent interest in online dating, finding a marriage partner was a more formal affair that often didn’t involve the actual couple at all. Instead, parents would search for appropriate partners for their children, and then arrange a marriage amongst themselves. It used to be that not only parents, but even factory bosses and Communist party leaders could play matchmaker.

The practice of arranged marriages still goes on today, despite being officially outlawed, under the guise of ‘matchmaking’. Personal ads with prospective suitors details on them are listed en masse in parks where the older generation can meet up, consult the ads and discuss with other parents whether their progeny would be suitable matches for one another.

The internet transfers this arrangement and power to the children themselves, and also provides considerably more potential matches than you would find in a market. Though it breaks from tradition, it would appear to do so for the better.

Problems with Online Dating

There are some problems with the world of online dating that users should be aware of. The major sites are doing everything they can to prevent instances of problems such as fraud, but despite best efforts, they can still occur. 

One of the major criticisms that men claim with online dating is women posting misleading pictures of themselves, making them seem more attractive than they actually are. This is not really something that can be overcome by the dating sites themselves. It is up to individual users to garner report with each other, and through video chats they could come to conclusions about whether they find each other suitably attractive.

Other instances of fraud include scams by users where they pretend they are single though married, for a sexual relationship. Some users lie about their salary or personal details to try and find a partner, though this is problem is being overcome with some stringent background checks by the websites. For example, if you suddenly increase your salary on the site, they will contact your Human Resources department to confirm your pay rise, as salary is one of the most important criteria between users in China.

Users caught committing fraud are blacklisted from sites to prevent the negative publicity and to instil trust in the site for users.

Conclusion

Online dating continues to be a profitable and popular way for Chinese single people to gain access to a berth of other single people looking for love. With the busy working lives so many Chinese people endure, and the continuing migration of young people from countryside China to urban China the popularity of online dating sites is only going to increase. This accessible, simple, and efficient way of finding a partner is exactly what many Chinese single people are looking for. Particularly if it aids in cutting through the (multitude of) men and (lesser number of) women to find someone you are truly compatible with. Though it subverts tradition, this is for the better as single people can choose their own partners, increasing the chances of ending up happily married. Online dating gives single people more choice when finding a partner and puts the power in the hands of those actually involved in the unions instead of the parents. Online dating is projected to, and will remain a highly profitable sector of the Chinese economy.